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Criminal Minds Exchange Fest

Two fics for ubervirgin, Hotch/Reid, PG-13 and NC-17

Criminal Minds Exchange Fest


Two fics for ubervirgin, Hotch/Reid, PG-13 and NC-17

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ubervirgin, your gifter was generous and wrote two fics for you, so here they both are!

Title: Illative Illocution
Author/Artist: recrudescence
Recipient: ubervirgin
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,607
Warnings/spoilers: N/A
Summary/prompt: Reid is finally introduced to Hotch's brother, Sean, as "the boyfriend."

The first time, Hotch has a cold and Reid picks up the phone without really thinking about it. After a requisite exchange of "who are you?"s, he can’t actually explain why he’s there so late and just stumbles over every other word until Sean laughs at him.

Hotch calmly takes control of the receiver and the situation once he’s finished blowing his nose.

They talk, and Reid’s name never comes up once. He’s pretending to be engrossed in a book, but he can’t help listening out for anything, just in case.

"He actually thinks he’s going to be able to take on a second job without extending the number of hours in a day," Hotch declares dryly once he’s finished. "Be glad you’ve never had the pleasure of being lectured by a know-it-all little brother."

It’s common knowledge that Reid is the little know-it-all brother of the BAU, so he refrains from making a comment about genetics and industriousness. Hotch has been barricading himself at work after hours less and less often lately.


With the divorce papers signed and sent on their way weeks ago, Hotch seemed determined to transform his office into a living space, and after four consecutive days of not actually seeing him go home Reid hovered in the doorway of it; sleeves rolled up above sharp elbows, forever looking gangly next to Hotch’s crisp efficiency. "Did you want to get something to eat after work?" Going for casual and not able to gauge how far he was from the mark; he wasn’t Morgan. "If you’re not busy."

As if that needed mentioning. Hotch always managed to be busy, arriving before everyone and leaving after, assuming he did. Morgan had already tried prying him out for drinks with the rest of them a couple times, and if that kind of charisma wasn’t going to convince Hotch, nothing would. Reid was prepared so completely for rejection that he didn’t have any idea how to react when Hotch lifted his head and asked how he felt about Indian food.

In the restaurant, Reid devoted himself to alternately rambling into empty air and steadily devouring poori, since he didn’t quite trust himself to eat his korma without accidentally making a mess.

Hotch studied him, long and hard. "Reid. You don’t need to feel obligated to entertain me."

Reid ended up laughing a little at that, honestly taken by surprise. "I don’t think anyone’s ever called me entertaining for not being able to keep quiet."

Wordlessly, Hotch reached across the table and shifted his tie away from the spinach dip.


The fourth time, Hotch is in the shower when the phone rings and Reid picks up so he can finish without interruption. It’s a decent idea in theory, but then he actually blurts out that Hotch is showering before it occurs to him how incriminating that sounds.

It’s worse when tries to explain they’re cleaning up after a very gruesome case and just ends up sounding flustered and ridiculous and Sean can’t not realize that "gruesome crime scene" is really crappy code for "really amazing sex."

"He’ll call you back," Reid settles on eventually, uncertain when his voice climbed six octaves. "Bye."

Grimacing and shoving his face into a pillow is juvenile and pointless, but he does it anyway.


Dinner out slowly changed to dinner in, and he went crazy at first trying to straighten his apartment and be presentable, only to have Hotch show up in jeans.

And he’d stared, and Hotch actually let his lips twitch into something that was almost a smile.


The seventh time, Reid regards the caller ID with some trepidation and hopes Hotch comes in from the car sooner rather than later. He could always say he didn’t hear. Landlines make him uneasy because his mother would never answer any calls and he would either do it himself or, if she was in one of her moods, unplug the jack entirely. Reid eyes it for a minute, then picks up the phone.

Sean doesn’t miss a beat. "Hi there, Dr. Reid."

So he’s recognizable, even if Hotch hasn’t told his brother anything about them at all. Maybe Sean is just perceptive. It would make sense for that to run in the family. "Spencer. Is fine. You don’t have…um, Aaron’s right here." He thrusts the receiver in Hotch’s general direction and heads out of the room as nonchalantly as he can.


"My mother never asked if I was seeing anyone. Either it never occurred to her or she just never thought it was a possibility for me."

"Mine didn’t either. Everyone always knew it would be Haley and me."

Reid was tempted to ask if he had talked about the change now that he was divorced, but he couldn’t bring himself to mention it. Hotch was pliant and comfortable beside him on the sofa, and he didn’t want to stop touching him.


When Hotch announces that Sean plans to visit from New York, he’s unflappably taciturn about what this means for them. He doesn’t utter a word about whether it’s okay to touch or talk about certain things in front of his brother, if he’d rather Reid not be known as the person he’s dating—not that they’ve ever used the word dating to describe their arrangement—if he’s even out to Sean. Reid suspects not.

Hotch is a superior and they aren’t supposed to be involved, period, but coworkers are turning a collective blind eye because he imagines they think it’ll do both him and Hotch some good, having each other to lean on. It’s been hard enough keeping home and work divided; initially, he had been constantly worried about somehow giving something away, and it had taken far too much time learning not to call Hotch sir when the BAU was behind them for the day. He still doesn’t address him by name much at all when they’re off the clock. If Hotch has noticed—of course he’s noticed—he hasn’t mentioned it, for which Reid is grateful.

The day Sean’s supposed to arrive, Reid is nursing a pulled calf muscle from the previous week and contemplating using it as an excuse to stay in for the night instead of driving to Hotch’s once he’s picked up Sean from the airport. Maybe it would be better for him to spend time with his brother alone. Then Hotch calls to ask where he is and Reid can’t think of anything to say at all.

It’s astonishing how descriptive the English language is. Embrocation refers to the process of applying balm in order to soothe an ache, but he knows not many people are aware of that, so he doesn’t say it even though it would take less time and time is always of the essence. Just screws the cap back on, slips into his shoes, and tells Hotch he’s heading out the door.

When he arrives and steps over threshold, the first thing he notices is that something smells incredible. Then Sean wanders out of the kitchen and every iota of Reid’s consciousness is suddenly electric-tipped and tension-riddled, not knowing how to filter his words or his memories and hoping not to accidentally declare, "Hello, this morning I made love to your brother and it was great," or something equally mortifying. If he’d brought his shoulder bag, at least he’d have something to clutch instead of idiotically twitching his fingers in a spastic little wave.

Sean just smiles, handsome and easy, as if he’s more accustomed to wearing the expression than his brother. "Hi."

"Ah." He shuffles a few feet towards him. "What’re you making?"

Hotch appears seemingly out of nowhere, in jeans and just as worthy of a double-take as he was that first time, palm automatically settling between Reid’s shoulders and guiding him forward before Reid has a chance to analyze the gesture to pieces. "Anything and everything. I’m taking advantage of having a culinary master on the premises for as long as I can. Sit."

He tentatively perches on a chair and the next thing he knows Hotch is on his knees, rolling up the leg of his pants, spreading his hand wide and warm over the skin, and asking if the pain’s gone down enough for Reid to stop wrapping his calf or if he’d like an Ace bandage. Then, over his shoulder, "Sean, you already know Spencer. Essentially." All of it too fast for Reid to do anything but blink and clutch at the cushion under him.

Sean doesn’t do anything but shrug and flash that smile again. "Yeah, we’ve bonded."

"I’m seeing someone. Do the math." Clipped and curt, not looking over at Sean because he’s still looking up at Reid, folding his trousers back into place with fingers that feel inhumanly hot even through the fabric.

"Dude, I’m not an idiot. "

Hotch’s hand pauses against an ankle, grasping and loosening and leaving phantom heat behind. Reid still not moving, not able to believe it’s this easy, thinking absurdly of bending to steal a kiss as Sean is bending to peer into the oven. There’s something surreal about hearing anyone call Hotch dude that negates anything else remotely out of the ordinary.

"That’s pleasantly reassuring." Dry as toast, no smile in sight, but Reid’s grinning moronically enough for the both of them and there’s a distinct flash of relief in Hotch’s eyes when he rises without missing another beat. This is what it’s like; family dinner with all cards on the table. Reid’s more used to counting them than fanning his hand for all to see, but he’s adapted before.

Title: All This Will Pass
Author/Artist: recrudescence
Recipient: ubervirgin
Pairing: Hotch/Reid
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2,056
Warnings/spoilers: Public sex, voyeurism, and dirty talk with a side dish of angst.
Summary/prompt: Garcia and Prentiss go out and are surprised to find Reid and Hotch on a date...and engaged in heavy PDAs.

Reid had once described his sexual history as sporadic and erratic.

Excessive levels of brainpower aren’t required in order to make sense of that. Throughout school, being years behind physically and light-years ahead mentally doesn’t necessarily make for a particularly promiscuous education.

Dim enough to see the drinks in front of them, allover shadowplay throughout the venue, a bar and a local band attracting the bulk of the attention on the other side of it, both making enough noise to drown out any conversations occurring at less than a shout. Friday feels like an actual Friday for once, a time for sinking in hard with fully bared teeth and not giving up the promise of a weekend without first coming to fisticuffs.

Words like rebounding and midlife crisis hover too close to the surface for Hotch’s comfort at times and it doesn’t seem quite fair to be taking it out on Reid, not even thirty, everything still too new for him to know better (maybe he’s taking advantage, recently stripped of his family and looking for something different; can’t get much more of a change than sleeping with a man and a co-worker). Tweed and corduroy and stodgy cold-weather clothing, bundled around the form currently squirming and writhing beside him in the furnace-hot booth. Coat off, but pulled close over both knees to cover the fact that Hotch has a hand slipped through his open fly, feeling the swell of him through the loose cloth of his underwear, tension trembling in that shallow stomach as his mouth grazes wetly up behind Reid’s ear.

"Um, have you heard of public indecency, by any chance?" Reid asks with only partial facetiousness, a quivery smile playing over his mouth even as he’s pressing it gently to Aaron’s throat. "Because this seems awfully close to the line."

"Public, yes. Indecent, no." They’re still fully clothed, Reid slumped against him and not quite on his lap; could just be one drunken friend taking care of another at the end of a long, trying week. All signs pointing to the seventeen-year-old boy with Marilyn Manson’s autobiography under his pillow and Charles Manson all over his hard drive, garroting neighborhood girls because he could, only the real culprit turned out to be his clean-cut neighbor whom no one ever would have suspected if not for the identity theft charges Garcia had dug up. "Should I stop?"

"I...no." Audible as a snowflake settling. The way Reid’s breath catches in between the two words does things to Hotch’s already hairline-cracked veneer of composure that it very probably shouldn’t. Wetting his lips, hefting over in order to be sitting more on Hotch than on the seat itself, and Reid’s head tips back enough for his mouth to graze the angle of Aaron’s jaw. "It’s okay."

This is what could in some circles be called progress and in others be called corruption. First time he murmured in Reid’s ear about wanting to go down on him, he’d shuddered and laughed nervously even though he was half-dressed and heavy-lidded in the middle of Hotch’s bed. "I thought people only said things like that in really horrible movie dialogues." After a beat, he’d grimaced and quickly amended, "Only, it’s not horrible when you say it. I’m just not used to it."

Haley would have batted his arm and uttered his name wrapped up in a bell-like laugh, then kissed him into unintelligibility. Reid, when Hotch opens his mouth, shivers and clutches and falters. Drinking everything in like he hasn’t had a chance to fully figure out which buttons he likes having pressed yet.

Starting small, in the beginning. Sharing anecdotes, exchanging intimacy one cautiously ascended stairstep at a time. The time he skimmed Sean’s shoulder with a BB gun when he was a teenager, back before he knew anything about passing firearms proficiency. Reid had seemed certain Hotch was practically born knowing how to fire a weapon. Reid, who in turn told him how once he’d come home from school to find the living room wallpaper in strips and curls all over the floor because his mother insisted there was a roach on the wall that kept hiding itself the pattern before she could kill it.

Basic maneuvering. Sensing something behind a door and pushing, easing it open carefully to size up whatever happens to be visible, then slamming all obstacles aside and leaping in with the safety off. Reid thrusting shallowly into his hand, one hand curled in a death grip on Aaron’s thigh. "If you don’t stop squirming, I’m going to strip you naked, push you over the table, and fuck you. Right here." Deliberately low, heated and husked and rolling out of him up into the dampness of Reid’s slackly parted lips. "I could let everyone here see you begging and crying out for it, coming all over yourself and loving it." There’s a small, helpless sound from that lax mouth and Hotch has no compunctions whatsoever about kissing it, right out in semi-public with no coat or casualness to mask the movement, and Spencer jolts against him, spine curving and hands clutching. Just from that, the fast-hot sensation of lips on his own. Christ.

Up on all fours, in his mind’s eye, hair in his face and skin splotched pink with a flush. "There wouldn’t be a single eye on the stage anymore. Have you get up on your knees, push your own fingers inside, let you fuck yourself on your own hand till you lose it. Put my tongue up inside you, maybe, and make you come again," and squeezing tighter with his fist just to hear Spencer swallow down a whine, "until you’re shaking and screaming for me and too exhausted to even get hard." It’s irrelevant that Hotch hasn’t ever actually partaken in that particular act, not yet, and Reid doesn’t actually scream, also not yet. Too tightly wound in every way possible; working with only one finger at first, gradually relaxing him, it had taken nearly an hour to coax him into letting go before he was propped on his elbows, arms trembling and mouth open, voice shattering from trying to speak too many words at once. Not sure whether to utter Hotch’s first or last name and eventually settling on both, then please. Again and again. Heels braced into divots of blanket and convulsing all over, clamped impossibly hard around Aaron’s fingers and crushing him in close when he came over his middle.

Maybe Aaron wouldn’t do it, but he can see it. Bare and desperate in the low lighting, taut limbs and sweat-stippled paleness, spasming and taking his pleasure without any inhibitions at all. There have been occasions, here and there, where he’s noticed Reid trying to slip free of his own mind and never managing. Spencer isn’t one to ask for help when he needs it, but Hotch has always been perceptive.

He and Haley had a brief falling-out in college and he slept with a man, only the once, only because he was off the rails, and Reid had looked at him with something like glee after hearing his confession and informed him that maybe rails weren’t always the transportation method of choice. Reid’s efforts at conversation range from the surprisingly forthright to the ridiculously roundabout. Hotch ruined dinner once, trying a recipe Sean swore wasn’t as advanced as it looked, and Reid’s response had been to duck his head and begin talking rapidly about how canned food couldn’t be trusted, according to his mother, and since Wednesday was dairy day if he wanted milk for his cereal he’d either had to sneak it into the house or wait for whichever day Diana decided was Wednesday. Then he had slipped off his shirt and let Hotch draw him close enough to kiss anywhere he liked and the topic of dinner became unnecessary until it was closer to breakfast.

Empty wineglass in front of him, empty mug in front of Spencer, who’d had no qualms about ordering one at the bar and claimed that microwaving Swiss Miss at home was just depressing compared to fresh hot chocolate. Whipped cream and all, lingering on his lips until Aaron took it upon himself to clean them off for him. Chocolate and sweetness, too innocent of a taste, combined with Spencer being too innocent in the one overlooked area of his intellect. Erratic and sporadic. Hotch keeps that at the forefront of his mind at all times, along with his conscious. Keeping himself in check even as he’s keeping four flexed fingers tight around the length of Reid’s cock, kneading and pressing— even as he’s pressing his own name right up against the hot-tense column of his neck—and feeling him leak against the pad of his thumb.

"Hotch...Aaron, please...I don’t know if I can—" and his head snapping back, hips snapping forward, coming with Hotch palming him through his pants, lips pressed tightly together and face screwed up in something that might be mistaken pain by anyone not knowing better.

Hotch only answers by humming, head tucked against the softness of uncombed hair.

"Take me home." Voice unsteady, and Hotch’s hands dare to go creeping higher under the loose hem of his shirt, finding flat nipples and gently pinching them into pinkness, hard and tight and responsive as a girl, as Haley. Reid’s fingers go flitting over a button as if he subconsciously wants to undo it. "I..." swallowing, grinding a little against Hotch’s groin, smiling wide and real when Aaron’s eyes shutter and his body arcs. "I want to put my mouth on you. Everywhere."

Stroking a hand down the boniness of that back, face nudging into the nape of his neck, tongue tracing wet whorls around too-visible vertebrae. If anyone can see him, he can’t be bothered to worry.

"That wasn’t too...porn-sounding, was it?" Hearing Reid mention porn is unexpected and intriguing, and Hotch can tell he’s reading the reaction right off his face when Spencer wriggles around to look at him and grins. Eager and young and receptive as can be. Hotch has a hand in his hair and his lips to his ear before he can tell himself that maybe he shouldn’t.

There's more, plenty more. He could strip those pants down to Spencer’s knees the instant the two of them are behind closed doors, lick-nip slowly all up that bowing spine—guide him to bend over the bed, back of the couch, chair, either lift that dress shirt out of the way or just take his sweet time unfastening it as he presses up against Reid from behind, letting him whimper and grind against him. And then, just as gradually, just as agonizingly, push into him—and stay there, not moving until Reid is blushing and clenching and pleading for Hotch to do him faster, harder; all those gorgeously uncensored thoughts finally spilling out nonstop.

His index finger slowly sketches a circle around the same shirt button Reid had been fussing with earlier. "Not at all."


"Okay. Superpower of choice at this very moment: photographic memory or bionic hearing?"

"Hearing," Prentiss answers instantly, taking another very long drink and not bothering to stop staring. "I didn’t think Hotch would...talk. During. Not that I ever thought about—" Breaking off, she shifts her gaze to the side. "If Reid was reeling off statistics and Hotch was just telling him to shut up, I’ll throttle him. Some things can never be sexy."

Absently, Garcia reaches for her margarita, missing the first couple times because she can’t quite manage to pry her attention away from the shadow-shrouded booth diagonally across from them. "Casual and nonchalant, casual and nonchalant," she hisses, abruptly swinging around to face the other way and very non-nonchalantly jerking her head for Prentiss to do the same. "They’re getting up, Emily; move."

Prentiss has her doubts about the efficiency of trying to hide in plain sight—from profilers, no less—but it’s safe enough to guess that Hotch and Reid aren’t on their guard for an audience of any kind. At her side, several seconds later, there’s a deeply heaved breath and the sound of a glass being set down with great finality. "Are we clear?" she ventures wryly.

"JJ," Garcia says, already flipping open her phone, "is going to flip her shit."

  • These were both so, so good! The characterization was excellent, as was the humor.
  • Wow! I absolutely loved the first one. The second is HAWT! Great stories. Thanks for sharing.
    • I was still finding my feet with this pairing when I wrote these and I was afraid it would show, so thank you!
  • AWWWW :)!
  • I liked the second one better than the first, but they were both so good that I'll have to reread them many times to make certain my judgment was correct. *G*
    • Thank you! Hotch has such a nice voice, so there's no reason not to make him use it for the dark side now and again.
  • These were both wonderfully crafted and beautifully written.
  • Oh my GOD. I thought I loved the first one, but then the second one BLEW MY MIND. The bit where Hotch is telling Reid what he could do to him is EXCRUCIATINGLY HOT, and then the cut to Prentiss and Garcia watching them made me SHRIEK with laughter. Awesome, awesome job. Am reccing these like crazy.
  • *is dead*

    Will you marry me? Like, now please?

    'Cause those were awesome. And hot. And really really cool.

    I absolutely adore the dynamics of the relationship between Hotch and Reid. And I also love the playfulness of your Garcia and Prentiss.

    Thank you so much for being so generous and giving me two freaking fabulous fics. I made out like a bandit. ^_^

  • These are both so AWESOME! They are totally made of win. I love the quiet progression of their relationship in the first one, and Sean's "knowing" without ever having been told. And the second one... *falls off chair* Yeah... that was damn, damn hot.

    • I wish Sean would show up again--now would not be a bad time for him to help out his big brother. Not at all.

      Thanks for reading!
  • These were both awesome! Loved Prentiss and Garcia's coda in the second- too hilarious. Bet the next day at the office is going to have some interesting undercurrents.
    • Ohyes, most definitely. =)

      By the way, in your request post where you bemoaned the lack of CM crackfic and brought up "the one where they're all on Project Runway" as an example? I totally started writing it. Don't know if it'll ever get finished, but I adore the idea.
      • YAY! YAY! YAY!

        Project runway CM AU!


        I'm keeping my fingers crossed it works out for you. If not, I know I'd be totally into whatever snippets you manage to write :D
        • Noted. =)

          I'm actually watching S5 reruns right now, appropriately enough. Rekindling my inner Stella fangirl.
          • Leatha.

            Stella was awesome. S7 starts next week! Word on the street is that so far it's better than S6 (which was horrible and almost killed my love for the show entirely).
            • So much word to all of this. I'm so glad they're going back to NYC for S7. Some of the new designers look pretty cool, so I'm hoping Lifetime has learned from its mistakes and can turn out a kickass season this time.
  • these are both fantastic and I am more than a little jealous of Emily and Garcia. *G*
  • Oh wow. First you kill with the uber-cute and then with the uber-hot. That's how I like it best!

    Gotta love Reid being awkward around Sean and Hotch being all "yeah, figure it out, little bro'". And then with the public sex! I want to watch that too.

    Well done!
    • It was interesting getting to jump between those two points on the spectrum, but it seemed wiser than trying to cram both fics into one bigger one. Thank you for reading!
  • Oh, man, I didn't leave you feedback? Bad me! I adored these both especially the first one. I love reading Sean. I think he'll be hilarious with Reid not matter what kind of relationship Hotch has with Reid. Bravo! Do write more. You don't find H/R fics with this level of awesomeness every day. Thank you!
    • Well, I didn't get a comment notification for this, so does that even us up?

      Thank you for reading! I know the first one is death-defyingly fluffy, but every now and then Hotch deserves to be happy, right?
  • I don't normally ship Reid/Hotch, but these fics were amazing! I loved them both and I totally did not expect to. Great job!
    • I don't either, being more of a Morgan/Reid girl, but I'm really having a good time with them. They've grown on me quite a bit. =)
  • mphrgle. The Reid/Hotch has me squirming and good Lord, that was hot. *bookmarks* I think I've read this four, no, five times so far and it hasn't stopped being hot.

    Any chance of a continuance? I can offer...we can work out a trade? :)
    • Sorry for the late reply--I haven't been getting notifications on this post and I don't know why!

      I'm not sure if I plan on continuing anything, but it's always a possibility and I don't have any CM fic currently in the works, so...might as well take on something.
  • I love Sean! I wish he’d come back to the show for a while! Yum! That was pretty nifty! I love the smut between those two, the dirty talk…and unknowlingly being watched by Prentiss and Garcia of all people! Ga! Thanks for sharing!
    • Thanks! It was a little hard for me to get my head around Hotch being lewd in public, but very easy to imagine how Prentiss and Garcia might react to it. =)
  • These were both absolutely delightful, I'm so glad I found them.
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